At the edge of a cliff

If it has seemed that we have been on a roller coaster ride lately, then now we are perched at the top of the biggest peak just holding our breath waiting for the upcoming fall and loop - and that would be my mom's oncology appointment tomorrow. I am trying to stay calm, but I am really a mess. I think mom is just too tired to even think about it too much. She seems pretty wiped out by it all...I HATE what cancer has done to her already and I fear we have so much more ahead.

Her radiation is going pretty smoothly. We are pretty much in and out...except Wednesday, the electricity had gone out in the morning and they couldn't get the machine back up, so we had to miss that treatment and they will just tack it on to the end -although we did drive all the way over there to find that out...that should count for something?!?

Most of my updates are for dad. He had an appointment with his cardiologist yesterday. I don't even know where to start. He was having quite a bit of swelling in his lower body. He prescribed another water pill in conjunction with potassium. He also referred him to an urologist as well. He also ordered a full set of CT Scans to rule out a cancer (since he has unexplained weight loss of about 30 lbs in a month and unexplained blood clot). He does that on April 8th. He wants to see him back in April for an echo and wants an ultrasound of his carotid artery in the next week or so. The surgery is going to be put off for a while because we have to get his lungs in a decent condition and get him off the blood thinner...the good news is that he isn't symptomatic (no chest pain, dizziness, etc.), so we can afford to put it off for a few months, but if he becomes symptomatic, then it will become more critical. Net Result from visit: lots of follow-up appointments/procedures and 3 more meds

Today, we saw my dad's hematologist. Thought we would be in and out with a simple blood test...two and a half hours later....my dad is still short on blood and he needs iron, but he has some stomach issues (which I will go into more in a sec), he can't take the quantity he needs orally, so they want him to do iron infusions - they will give him iron via an IV. The first session will be 5 hours, and he will do it on Monday morning. He and mom will come over Monday am and we will drop him off there and then take mom to her radiation. The rest of the infusions will only be an hour and they aren't sure how many he will need, but he is scheduled for the following Monday as well.

We had never gotten a follow-up from his GI doctor - didn't even know who he was until today....can you believe they never gave us the results of the colonoscopy (I know my dad is probably a pain to deal with and he was anxious to get out of the hospital...but still!) So, his NP today called the GI dr and got results for us. His colonoscopy was basically clear - couple minor things that don't need real follow-up - diverticuli). But his stomach has an infection in it!! And guess they were just never going to tell us!!! It is called H.pylori and likely caused his ulcer/bleeding. They are putting him on 2 antibiotics and a protonic to help his stomach recover, until then they have him off his blood thinner - for about 4 weeks - but he will need to be on the thinner to resolve the clot. They are also testing his blood for a anti-coagulant that is tied to blood clots. Net Result from visit: 3 more meds, really long infustion appointments and a couple follow-ups.

Next week - we know we still have radiation every morning with mom - not sure if they will add in any other appointments or treatments tomorrow. Dad has his infusion Monday, his lung dr on Tuesday, a urology apt on Wednesday....he also needs to get in to see his new primary care dr, but not sure when....I really need to get him someone to manage all his conditions and medications because it is really over my head and right now he is depending on me.

Sometimes, usually at the end of the day, I feel it is just too much to juggle and manage..but then I realize that is has to be me...and that I will do whatever it takes to get my parents well...and I wish I could do more! Then, I wake up in the morning and things seem a little better. We just need to get to the bottom of it all and get stabalized....and need some good news for a change - keep the prayers coming!

On a quick note: thanks so much for all the support, the calls, the cards, the emails, the meals - all of it.....I wish I could think of more for you all to do to help, but I can't get my hands around things fast enough! Just keep us in your thoughts and prayers.