One minute I am coping and the next it hits me. One minute crying and the next smiling...on our vacation, ready to be finished and get home and on the other hand, not ready to deal with what is waiting here.
On that note, our vacation. Thursday was tough - leaving early and talking to mom on the way to her biopsy because they were going early as well. Checking in all day and waiting to hear, but by the time we got on the ship, I knew it was over, mom was home and doing well.
Our first day at sea was not wonderful...after all the apprehension, the boys traveled reasonably well (Ryan was perfect - not a peep and Ethan is already in the 'are we there yet' phase except compounded by no concept of time - he was literally asking the question 10 minutes into our 5+ hour drive!)...we got there early and killed some time in the Mobile Wal-mart...then got a little lost thanks to a detour but still made it in plenty time...took us 2+ hours in lines to get onto the ship due to computer issues! That was pretty miserable for the boys, but David waited in line while I found places for them to play in corners.
First night was ok, but we woke up to some bumpy seas (this is our 4th cruise and never has it been so bad)...there were thunder storms so we had rough seas (~10-12 foot waves) along with lightening and rain! The ship was bouncing so much that you had to hold on to the wall at times or be knocked over. Not to be too graphic, but you would walk past bathrooms or hallways and hear people puking and one guy even did it right next to our table in the dining area! They were cleaning floors all over the ship and kept apologizing...so much for pool or sun that day. After breakfast we took the boys to the kid camp and went to work out in the gym, but we only got in 20 minutes of really odd feeling bouncy elliptical experience when we got paged because Ethan had gotten sick in the camp. We went to get the boys and found out that we had to get Ethan cleared by the infirmary doc before he could return....what a pain! We got Ethan changed and cleaned and both boys settled down and *tried* to little avail to eat lunch (I guess that is one way to not gain weight on a cruise). After a temp read and some Dramamine from the doc, Ethan was cleared to go back to camp and the boys were ok for the evening after our early dinner (we had the 5:45 seating). We were wiped out by the end of the day and went to be at 9pm only to be awoken at what I would have sworn to be the early hours of the morning only to find out it was 10:30pm by some loud, obnoxious drunk guys in the hall in front our our door (visiting with the equally drunk, obnoxious, loud guy with the room across from ours) - yelling, 'Weezie' and 'Raise the roof' down the hall for almost an hour....thank goodness they didn't wake the boys, but they did wake David and I. Don't get me wrong, I don't begrudge anyone the cruise experience they want and all the alcohol and fun they can have - just do it in a common area away from people's rooms!
Saturday, the weather was better and we were docked in Cozumel = no ship movement. We were all up at 6am since we went to bed so early the night before. The boys slept well the entire cruise. Ethan had the bunk and Ryan was on a trundle bed under him - and our king bed was pretty comfy if you ask me. 
That is one great thing about the cruise, I got some good rest. With our early start, had breakfast with the boys and then took them to camp so we could work out for just over an hour then we changed into swim suits and relaxed in the sun a bit with our books - it was a bit cool, but bearable and the sun was warm and healing. I called Rube and got the news - she is so funny...I called and said, I have to be quick because I don't know how much this call will cost, so she said, "Ok, I have Cancer"...just blurted it out so fast....I almost wanted to laugh because it is typical Rube to get to business especially when it is costing money...but I also wanted to cry (duality again)....the rest of the day, I went from enjoying vacation with my husband and boys to total mess. After sun time, quick shower, and then off to get the boys to go ashore for lunch in Cozumel. It was a really gorgeous day. There is a little outdoor mall outside the cruise terminal with shops and stands and a handful of restaurants. Went to one restaurant, but it was too loud for the boys, went to another that we thought was better...turned out to be just as loud with lots of alcohol consumption and spring breakers....interestingly enough, lots of older people, couples, even families.....if the boys had been a little older it would have been VERY inappropriate, as it is they are way too young to understand what was going on (for any of you who know/remember a place called Mexico City Gourmet - like that but 10x magnified). David ordered a beer, the guy asked big or little and D said little but he must have heard 'liter' because that is what he got (see photos!). 
Food was pretty good. We got some nice photos and ended up having fun people watching and Ethan LOVED singing and dancing to Y-M-C-A! 
Did a little shopping after lunch - got the boys a t-shirt and a small toy. Back to the ship to hang out in our room....our plan was to take the kids to camp for dinner and D and I have dinner alone, but Ryan fell asleep really late and was grumpy, so we all ended up missing dinner and snacking in the buffet area (thank goodness for 24 hour pizza), but we did take the boys to camp after dinner and D and I want to a show (it was a country review of sorts) and it was pretty ok, but I lost it and could not stop crying because I knew it was totally Rube's thing. Went back to the room to clean my face and then to get the boys for bed.
That is one great thing about the cruise, I got some good rest. With our early start, had breakfast with the boys and then took them to camp so we could work out for just over an hour then we changed into swim suits and relaxed in the sun a bit with our books - it was a bit cool, but bearable and the sun was warm and healing. I called Rube and got the news - she is so funny...I called and said, I have to be quick because I don't know how much this call will cost, so she said, "Ok, I have Cancer"...just blurted it out so fast....I almost wanted to laugh because it is typical Rube to get to business especially when it is costing money...but I also wanted to cry (duality again)....the rest of the day, I went from enjoying vacation with my husband and boys to total mess. After sun time, quick shower, and then off to get the boys to go ashore for lunch in Cozumel. It was a really gorgeous day. There is a little outdoor mall outside the cruise terminal with shops and stands and a handful of restaurants. Went to one restaurant, but it was too loud for the boys, went to another that we thought was better...turned out to be just as loud with lots of alcohol consumption and spring breakers....interestingly enough, lots of older people, couples, even families.....if the boys had been a little older it would have been VERY inappropriate, as it is they are way too young to understand what was going on (for any of you who know/remember a place called Mexico City Gourmet - like that but 10x magnified). David ordered a beer, the guy asked big or little and D said little but he must have heard 'liter' because that is what he got (see photos!). 
Food was pretty good. We got some nice photos and ended up having fun people watching and Ethan LOVED singing and dancing to Y-M-C-A! Did a little shopping after lunch - got the boys a t-shirt and a small toy. Back to the ship to hang out in our room....our plan was to take the kids to camp for dinner and D and I have dinner alone, but Ryan fell asleep really late and was grumpy, so we all ended up missing dinner and snacking in the buffet area (thank goodness for 24 hour pizza), but we did take the boys to camp after dinner and D and I want to a show (it was a country review of sorts) and it was pretty ok, but I lost it and could not stop crying because I knew it was totally Rube's thing. Went back to the room to clean my face and then to get the boys for bed.Then Sunday was our last day on the ship and another sea day...this time much smoother sailing...and sunny and warmer, but not warm enough for the pools (that were open for the 1st time of the cruise). Did our usual morning routine, boys to camp then gym time then back to change and get some sun time...warm, but when the clouds covered the sun it was pretty chilly. Reading was the best part...I am reading a fab book, Shopaholic and Baby, and it totally helps me escape reality for a while. Then lunch with the boys, then a nap for the boys and I while David heads off to get more sun (I really didn't want to get sun and used block mostly), and we finally got our dinner alone while the boys have dinner with camp friends....they also get their faces painted like spider man (a highlight of the trip). It was a nice evening.
The whole vacation had its ups and downs...I can't say I didn't have moments when I regretted going, but if we had not gone, I would have regretted that as well. It was nice to get away as a family as it always is. The boys had a nice adventure....lots of bonding and sharing, the good and the bad. I have really come to understand family vacations differently (and to appreciate all the ones we took when I was a child - ALWAYS to a Florida beach OR to The Smokey Mountains, both an easy drive)....that it isn't really about where you go or what you do, it is about the shared experience that bonds you as a family and gives you years or inside jokes, stories to laugh and cry over and tons of bad photos - did my hair really look that bad?!? :) That's what I want for our boys...that and nothing more or less.
Daddy and Ryan resting and bonding
Mommy gets in on the action!
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